2023 COMC BINGE - PART 10: MOLDY FOOTBALL

IT'S NOT A BLACK FRIDAY BINGE IF I DON'T PICK UP A MOLFY OLD SOCCER CARD OF A PLAYER I'VE BARELY HEARD OF FROM A COMPANY THAT IS COMPLETELY ALIEN TO ME. HERE'S THIS YEAR'S ARSENAL ARCHAEOLOGY

1969-70 A&BC FOOTBALLERS #46 GEORGE ARMSTRONG

GEORGE ARMSTRONG PLAYED FIFTEEN SEASONS WITH ARSENAL AND WAS A BIG PART OF THEIR FA CUP AND LEAGUE WINNING TEAMS. I KNOW ALMOST NOTHING ABOUT ENGLISH FOOTBALL BEFORE ABOUT 2013 OR SO BUT I HAD HEARD OF GEORGE SOMEHOW AND THAT RECOGNITION WAS PART OF THE REASON I PICKED UP THIS CARD. THAT AND THE NEAT DESIGN THAT'S REMINISCENT OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE AMERICAN FOOTBALL SETS, 1968 TOPPS. IT'S NOT NEARLY AS COLORFUL BUT THERE'S A CHARM TO THE SET LIKE SOMEONE CREATING A DIY ZINE JUST IN TRADING CARD FORM

THE BACK IS ACTUALLY MORE COLORFUL, IF YOU COUNT BLACK AS A COLOR. '68 FOOTBALL HAD SINGLE COLOR INK ON THE BACK WITH GREEN FOR SERIES ONE AND BLUE FOR SERIES TWO. AB&C ADDED BLACK TO THEIR BACKS WHICH MAKES THEIR CARTOON A LOT EASIER TO READ. IT'S STILL A VERY MINIMAL BACK BUT PRETTY NICE LOOKING. THIS CARTOON IS TIMELY AS FIFA IS STILL CLONKING SOCCER FANS ON THE HEAD WITH A GIANT BRICK TO THIS DAY. THAT'S ABOUT ALL I HAVE, I ALREADY WROTE A BIT ON WHAT AB&C IS IN MY LAST POST ON THE SUBJECT. I'LL HAVE MORE TO SAY ON NEXT WEEK'S CARD

ONLINE MEGA BOX - PART 29

IT'S MINI TIME WOOOOOOOO! IT WAS MINI TIME LAST POST TOO BUT THIS IS ALLEN & GINTER MINI TIME WHICH MEANS WE NOW GET TO PLAY "DOES THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?" YOU'D THINK I'D KNOW THIS ALREADY SINCE I FINALLY GOT A NEED LIST TOGETHER FOR MY BASE, A&G BACK AND BLACK BORDER SETS BUT HONESTLY I PICKED OUT THESE CARDS WITH THE ONLY CRITERIA BEING 'OH HEY, THAT'S COOL' AND DISREGARDED THE NUMBERS ON THE BACK COMPLETELY

CATEGORY - MINIS

THE MAJORITY OF CARDS IN MY GINTER MINI BINDERS ARE FROM 2013 AND EARLIER SO ANY RECENT MINIS AUTOMATICALLY GET AN EDGE. ALSO VERY FEW CARDS AREN'T GETTING REPLACED BY JOEY VOTTO 

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES

JOEY BOUNCED A 2013 IAN KINSLER MINI. SORRY IAN

ANOTHER 2019 MINI, THIS DESIGN HAS AN EXTRA EDGE BECAUSE OF THE LARGER PHOTO THAT TAKES UP ALMOST THE ENTIRE CARD. THIS REALLY MAKES THESE CARDS STAND OUT AGAINST SOME OF THE OTHER DESIGNS. PLUS BILLY HAMILTON PLAYED FOR THE BRAVES FOR LIKE A WEEK AND A HALF. LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO REMEMBER HE WAS A BRAVE AT LEAST

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES

BILLY REPLACES A 2014 JAY BRUCE MINI. I DON'T HAVE AS MANY 2014 CARDS IN THE BINDER BUT THE GIGANTIC TEAM NAME AT THE TOP OF THE CARD REALLY SQUASHES THE PHOTO. GIANT BILLY OR TINY JAY WASN'T A FAIR FIGHT

YOU ALREADY KNOW TODD HELTON'S IN THAT BINDER, WHO'D HE REPLACE

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES - WITH REGRETS

THIS CHOICE WAS TOUGH. YEAH THIS CARD LOOKS GREAT AND IS OF A FRESHLY MINTED HALL OF FAMER BUT THE OTHER CARD NUMBER 105 IN THE BINDER WAS A 2006 ANDY PETTITTE MINI. PETTITE IS ARGUABLY AS GOOD AS HELTON AND IS FROM THE VERY FIRST ALLEN & GINTER SET. WELL, NOT THE FIRST FIRST ALLEN & GINTER SET BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. THE MAIN REASON ANDY GOT BUMPED IS THAT THERE WERE THREE OTHER 2006 MINIS ON THAT PAGE ALREADY. FRANKENSETTING IS HARD SOMETIMES

I DON'T THINK MARTIN MALDONADO WAS MY FIRST 2022 MINI, BUT IT WAS MY FIRST 2022 SHORT PRINT MINI. I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT IF THIS IS A GOOD DESIGN YET BUT IT SURE IS A LOT OF DESIGN

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES

MARTIN REPLACES A 2009 JUSTIN MASTERSON MINI. THERE'S ALREADY AN '09 CARD ON THE PAGE SO UNLIKE ANDY JUSTIN WON'T BE MISSED

IN 2019 TOPPS SOMEHOW GOOFED THE NUMBERING SO BADLY ON THE SET THAT THERE WERE NO CARDS 301-350 AND THE SHORT PRINTS WERE NUMBERED 351-400. HOW THIS HOPPEN? WHO THE HELL KNOWS. THIS SCREWS UP MY FRANKENSET CONCEPT PRETTY BADLY SINCE THE WHOLE POINT OF THE EXERCISE IS TO BUILD A SET NUMBERED UP TO 350 WITH ONE CARD PER NUMBER. I WILL NOT LET TOPPS' SHENANIGANS RUIN MY FUN SO FOR THE SHORT PRINTS OF VICTOR ROBLES AND JORDAN HICKS I MENTALLY SUBTRACTED 50 FROM THEIR CARD NUMBERS. I WILL NOT FORGIVE TOPPS FOR MAKING ME DO MATH

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

NO

CARD NUMBER 361-50 = 311 WHICH IN THE BINDER IS 2007 DAVID ROSS. FORMER BRAVES PLAYER IN FULL CATCHER'S GEAR? NOT BEATING THAT WITH A WONKY NUMBERED CARD.

JORDAN HICKS IS A CARDINAL WITH A GOOFED UP CARD NUMBER. THAT'S TWO STRIKES ON HIM ALREADY

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

NO

CARD NUMBER 355-50 = 305. THAT'S A 2008 RANDY JOHNSON MINI. STRIKE THREE 

JUST LOOK AT THOSE NUMBERS. I MEAN, C'MON TOPPS. IT'S OBVIOUS WHICH OF THESE MADE THE BINDER

THE NEXT THREE CARDS ARE ALLEN & GINTER PARALLEL BACKS. THESE HAVE AN ADVANTAGE TO GET IN THE BINDER BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE NEARLY AS MANY OF THESE AS THE BASE MINIS. I'M NOT TOO FAMILIAR WITH TYLER KEPNER'S WORK BUT HIS BOOK A HISTORY OF BASEBALL IN TEN PITCHES IS ONE I'M INTERESTED IN CHECKING OUT

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES

TYLER WAS UNCONTESTED AND FILLED AN EMPTY SPACE IN THE BINDER. HOORAY!

I HAVE SO MANY JAVIER BAEZ CARDS AND I DONT' EVEN COLLECT THE GUY. I DON'T HAVE MANY 2021 MINI CARDS AT ALL

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES

ANOTHER EMPTY POCKET TO FILL. WAIT, HAVE I MARKED THESE TWO CARDS OFF MY WANTLIST YET?? 😬

THIS CARD OF HILARY KNIGHT WAS THE ONE I THOUGHT WOULD BE THE AUTOMATIC CHOICE FOR THE BINDER. AN ACTUAL WORLD CHAMPION CHOMPING HER OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL? THIS IS THE KIND OF CARD THAT MAKES ALLEN & GINTER WHAT IT IS!

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES - AGAIN WITH RESERVATIONS

THIS CARD WAS DEFINITELY IN THE BINDER UNESS IT WAS TRYING TO KNOCK OUT SOMEONE LIKE HANK AARON OR PELE SO A 2008 CARD OF CARLOS PENA DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE. HOWEVER I STILL FELT BAD REMOVING A CARD WITH THE ORIGINAL OLD PLANTER BACK. CARLOS LOOKS REALLY SAD TO BE LEAVING THE BINDER AS WELL. SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE

I MEAN - LOOK AT THAT GOOFY LOGO THAT LOOKS MORE LIKE CAG THAN A&G. I REMOVED OLD PLANTER FOR THAT. REGRETS.

THE LAST FOUR BASE MINIS ARE BLACK BORDER PARALLELS AND I HAVE EVEN LESS OF THOSE (OR IS IT FEWER? YELL ABOUT MY GRAMMAR IN THE COMMENTS) THAN THE A&G BACKS. IT'D BE GREAT IF ALL FOUR FILLED UP EMPTY SPACES BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN I IGNORED MY WANTLIST. ALSO ONCE AGAIN JAVY BAEZ SHOWS UP. HOW DO I GET SO MANY OF HIS CARDS??

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES

JAVY'S GOT THAT EMPTY POCKET LUCK TODAY

I INCLUDE THESE RACK PACK EXCLUSIVE GOLD BORDER CARDS IN WITH THE BLACK BORDERS BECAUSE I'M SURE NOT STARTING A FOURTH MINI FRANKENSET FOR THE DAMNED THINGS. I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANY OF THE GINTER X MINIS OR THE CHROME, LORD KNOWS WHAT I'LL DO WITH THOSE. THEY BOTH HAVE THE FANCY VICTORIAN WROGHT IRON FENCE BORDERS IT'S JUST ONE IS PAINTED BLACK AND ONE IS GILDED. NAME THIS ONE THE FENCE SET AND WE'RE GOOD. THIS FENCE DESIGN IS EXTRA FINICKY FOR 2019. POOR DAVID BOTE LOOKS LIKE HE'S TRAPPED IN AN ARISTOCRAT'S FANCY GARDEN PARTY WONDERING HOW TO MAKE SMALL TALK WITH THE GRAND BARONESS OF GILDERSLEEVE

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES

MORE EMPTY POCKET MOJO FOR THE CUBS

MATT CARPENTER IS GIVING ME THE STINK EYE AFTER PUTTING TWO CUBS IN THE BINDER. 'YOU'RE GONNA PUT ME IN THE BINDER TOO, RIIIIGHT?'

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

NO

A 2013 DEREK HOLLAND BLACK MORDER MINI BLOCKS MATT. I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE PUT MATT IN, I ALREADY HAD A 2013 CARD OF ANDRE DAWSON ON THE PAGE, BUT THE COMBINATION OF AN ACTUAL BLACK BORDER CARD THAT WAS ALSO ONE OF THE LAST ONES THAT ACTUALLY HAD A MOSTLY SOLID BLACK BORDER AND NOT A FANCY GARDEN FENCE 

THE 2022 BLACK BORDER PARALLELS LOOK A LOT LIKE THE BASE CARDS JUST WITH A LITTLE EXTRA OOMPH. I DO LIKE THE CHANGE THOUGH, THE PATTERN LOOKS MORE LIKE A FANCY EMBOSSED LEATHER BOUND BOOK THAN SOMETHING TO PUT AROUND THE HYDRANGEAS TO KEEP THE RABBITS OUT. MICHELLE WIE WEST IS ALSO A BREATH OF FRESH AIR AS A RECENT A&G NON-BASEBALL SUBJECT WHO ACTUALLY PLAYS A SPORT AND ISN'T AN INFLUENCER OR YOUTUBER OR PODCASTER

DID THIS CARD MAKE THE FRANKENSET?

YES

THIS ONE BUMPED A 2014 CARD OF CARL CRAWFORD. 2014 WAS THE FIRST YEAR OF THE FIDDLY NOT-COMPLETELY-JET-BLACK BORDERS AND I REALLY DON'T CARE FOR THE DESIGN. IT ALSO LETS YOU KNOW VERY CLEARLY HOW OFF CENTER YOUR CARD IS. NAW, GET OUT 

BONUS! A PIC OF THE COMPLETED PAGE WITH VOTTO AND HELTON

EXTRA BONUS! ALL THE REJECTS

I'M SORRY OLD PLANTER, PLEASE FORGIVE ME...

UP NEXT: MOAR MINIS BUT INSERTS!

EVEN MOAREREST PLAYOFFS

 IT'S BASKEYBAWL PLAYOFF TIME WHICH IS EXCITING BUT WILL MOST LIKELY END UP GOING BADLY FOR ME. SINCE I DID MY BASEBALL AND FEETSBALL TEAM RANKINGS WHY NOT DO BASKETBALL AS WELL. DON'T EXPECT HOCKEY THOUGH, I DO NOT KNOW NOR DO I CARE WHO'S GOOD IN THAT SPORT ANYMORE. TEAMS SHALL BE REPRESENTED BY COOL 90S INSERTS BECAUSE THEY ARE AWESOME AND WILL BE RANKED IN ORDER FROM BESTEST TO LEASTEST FAVORITE. ANYONE WHO HAS SEEN 57 POSTS ABOUT TRAE YOUNG ON THIS WEBSITE KNOWS WHO IS THE FAVORITERIST. I'LL STOP WITH THE RIDICULOUS SPELLING NOW

ATLANTA HAWKS

THE HAWKS ARE ONCE AGAIN IN THE PLAY-IN ROUND AS THE 10TH SEED IN THE EAST. THEY ARE 3-0 IN PLAY-IN GAMES BUT THEY ARE NOT GOING 5-0. THE TEAM IS A MESS, THE ROSTER DOESN'T FIT AND MOST OF THE BEST PLAYERS ARE BEAT UP TO HELL. I'LL STILL BE LISTENING TO STEVE HOLMAN CALLING THE GAME ON THE RADIO FOR AS LONG AS I CAN BUT I'M NOT FEELING GOOD ABOUT THIS ONE EVEN WITH TRAE PLAYOFF MAGIC IN THE MIX. THIS IS GOING TO BE A CRITICAL OFFSEASON, NO MORE SALARY CAP DUMPS PLEASE. IT'S SAD, THEY'VE GOT THE BEST PLAYER IN FRANCHISE HISTORY AND A LOT OF GOOD YOUNG TALENT ON THE ROSTER BUT CAN'T WIN AT EVEN A .500 CLIP

THE HAWKS STRESS ME OUT BUT THIS CARD DOES NOT. ALMOST COMICALLY SIMPLE COMPARED TO THE REST OF THE CARDS IN THIS POST, THIS 1992-93 ROOKIE SENSATIONS CARD HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVORITES. IT'S SO 90S! PURPLE? CHECK. GRADIENT? CHECK. CHUNKY COMPUTER GRAPHICS? CHECK. IT HELPED THAT AUGMON WAS MY FAVORITE PLAYER IN THE EARLY 90'S. HE KNOW HOW TO PLAY DEFENSE UNLIKE SOME OTHER PEOPLE I KNOW 

BOSTON CELTICS

I HATE THE BOSTON CELTICS. I HATE THEM SO BAD IT'S BLED OVER TO MOST OF NEW ENGLAND. FUCK OFF RHODE ISLAND! QUIT LOOKING SO SMUG, VERMONT! EAT SHIT, THE PARTS OF MAINE NOT HAUNTED BY A STEPHEN KING MONSTER! OOOOOOH I HATE THE GODDAMN CELTICS. BUT. THIS MIGHT BE AL HORFORD'S LAST CHANCE AT A RING. AND I LOVE AL HORFORD. HORFORD NEEDS A RING! GO GET HIM A RING YOU BASTARDS! DON'T CHOKE IT AWAY AGAIN LIKE YOU DID THE PAST TWO YEARS!!! FSGJHFSKAJGH

THE CELTICS MAKE ME MAD, THIS CARD IS KINDA COOL. AN INSERT FROM 1999-00 ULTRA, YOU GOT A GIANT CELTICS LOGO ON A PARQUET FLOOR WITH THE MOST AWKWARD PHOTO OF ANTOINE WALKER AVAILABLE AT THE TIME. THIS IS AN EXTRA-ODD INSERT SET AS BOSTON IS THE ONLY TEAM WITH A PARQUET FLOOR, THE ORIGINAL FLOOR WAS ACTUALLY RETIRED IN 1999, AND THE INSERT SET INCLUDES THE USUAL MIX OF PLAYERS FOR ALL DIFFERENT TEAMS. THIS ONE WITH A PLAYER WHO ACTUALLY PLAYED ON A PARQUET FLOOR SEEMS A LITTLE SPECIAL

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

MY NORMAL RANKING PROCESS OF TAKING TEAMS THAT HAVE WON A CHAMPIONSHIP THIS CENTURY AND TELLING THEM TO GO JUMP IN A LAKE IS NOT WORKING THIS TIME. EVEN THOUGH THEY WON A CHIP VERY RECENTLY I STILL SEE THEM AS A BUNCH OF SCRAPPY UNDERDOGS, ALBEIT ONE WITH A GIANT MONSTEROUS GREAT DANE THAT CAN RIP PEOPLE'S HEADS OFF IN THE PACK. I LIKE GIANNIS AND IT WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST THING EVER IF DOC RIVERS WON ANOTHER TITLE AFTER EVERYONE SHIT ALL OVER HIM FOR THE PAST DECADE SO IF THE ROTTEN CELTICS BLOW IT AGAIN ANOTHER TITLE FOR MILWAUKEE WOULD PLEASE ME. 

LATE 90S INSERTS WERE WILD, YO. EVERYTHING ESCALATED SO MUCH THAT BASE SETS LIKE FLEER TRADITION WERE POPPING OUT EMPBOSSED, TEXTURED, HOLOFOIL ENCRUSTED CARDS LIKE THIS ONE. THESE THINGS WERE 1:20 PACKS IN A 98-99 SET WHOSE THEME WAS THE 1961 FLEER DESIGN. GOD BLESS THE 90S

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

OK, BACK TO THE ACTUAL SCRAPPY UNDERDOGS. THE TIMBERWOLVES HAVE BEEN A COMPLETE TIRE FIRE FOR THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE. THEN THIS YEAR WITH BULLDOG LEGEND ANTHONY EDWARDS THEY LED THE WESTERN CONFERENCE FOR MUCH OF THE YEAR BEFORE BLOWING THE LAST GAME VS THE SUNS AND ENDING UP WITH THE 3RD SEED. BUT THAT JUST MAKES THEM SCRAPPIER! I'M WAY TOO HIPSTER ROOT FOR THE #1 SEED. THE ONLY DOWNSIDE TO A WOLVES TITLE IS THAT IT WOULD RUIN MY RUNNING JOKE THAT MINNESOTA SOLD THEIR SOUL FOR A 1991 TWINS TITLE AND ALL THEIR TEAMS WILL FAIL MISERABLY UNTIL THE SOUL OF KENT HRBEK IS DRAGGED DOWN TO HELL. NO ONE LIKES THAT JOKE BUT IT MAKES ME LAUGH

THIS ISN'T TECHNICALLY AN INSERT AS IT'S FROM THE 1992-93 UPPER DECK TEAM MVP HOLOGRAM SET. BUT REALLY, WOULD YOU RATHER SEE THIS OR SOME JUNKY INSERT OF CHRISTIAN LAETTNER OR ISAIAH RIDER. I WASN'T LUCKY ENOUGH TO PULL COOL GARNETT INSERTS

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

I HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR PHILADELPHIA EVEN THOUGH THEY KEEP RUINING MY LIFE. THE SIXERS HAVE BEEN AS BIG A TRAINWRECK AS THE HAWKS THIS YEAR THOUGH AND ARE ALSO IN THE PLAY-IN. THIS HAS CAUSED MY HAWKS GAME TO GET PUSHED TO 9:30PM BECAUSE OF A HOCKEY GAME, GRRR. IT WOULD BE FUN TO SEE EMBIID IN THE FINALS THOUGH, ASSUMING HE CAN STAY HEALTHY THAT LONG

THIS WAS AN INSERT IN 1996-97 ULTRA AND WAS KINDA TOUGH AT 1:72 PACKS. IT'S SUPER NICE LOOKING THOUGH, THIS JERSEY GIMMICK HAS BEEN DONE NUMEROUS TIMES AND THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST OF THE BUNCH. I JUST REALIZED THIS IS A ROOKIE YEAR INSERT AND CHECKED SOME PRICES AND UH, THIS NEEDS TO GO INTO THE SPECIAL BOX WHAT WITH THE LOCKS ON IT

SACRAMENTO KINGS

IF THE KINGS MADE THE PLAYOFFS THIS SEASON THE HAWKS GOT THEIR 1ST ROUND PICK FROM THE KEVIN HUERTER SALARY DUMP TRADE. AFTER BEING IN THE TOP 6 MOST OF THE YEAR, THEY POOPED OUT AT THE END AND NOW ARE IN THE PLAY-IN HAVING TO BEAT THE WARRIORS JUST TO STAY ALIVE. I'M BEGINNING TO HATE SACRAMENTO, BUT I WANT THAT DAMN DRAFT PICK SO I'LL ROOT FOR THEM 

DID YOU KNOW HOOPS BECAME SKYBOX AT SOME POINT IN THE 90S? DID YOU ALSO KNOW THAT THIS CARD IS SUPPOSED TO BE REPRESENTING A COMPUTER MONITOR? IF THE OBSCURED COLOR DISPLAY/20 DIDN'T KEY YOU IN, PERHAPS THE SMOKY YELLOW BORDER REPRESENTING A CRT MONITOR PLASTIC THAT SOAKED UP FIVE YEARS OF CIGARETTE SMOKE DID. I STILL HAVE ONE OF THOSE MONITORS IN THE BASEMENT SOMEWHERE

LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS

AH, THE CLIPPERS. THE NBA FRANCHISE THAT MAKES THE TIMBERWOLVES LOOK LIKE THEY WERE BLESSED BY ANGELS. I DON'T HAVE A TON OF OPINIONS ON WESTERN CONFERENCE TEAMS BUT IT WOULD BE FUN FOR THE WORST FRANCHISE EVER TO WIN A TITLE JUST SO THREE FUTURE HALL OF FAMERS COULD HAVE THAT ON THEIR RESUME

I KINDA GOOFED ON THIS CARD AS 2000-01 FLEER FUTURES IS NOT A 90S INSERT AND ALSO NOT A PRODUCT ANYONE'S EVER HEARD OF BEFORE. BUT LOOK AT THAT GIGANTIC HOLOFOIL SEAM OVER ON THE RIGHT. IT ELEVATES AN ALREADY DECENT LOOKING CARD TO ANOTHER LEVEL

LOS ANGELES LAKERS

I LIKE THE LAKERS ABOUT AS MUCH AS THE CELTICS. THESE GUYS WOULD NORMALLY BE MUCH LOWER BUT PEOPLE ARE SO MAD THAT LEBRON IS THE ALL TIME SCORING LEADER NOW THAT YET ANOTHER TITLE FOR HIM IS GONNA MAKE THEM EVEN MADDER. IF A TEAM I DON'T LIKE IS GONNA WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP ANYWAY IT MAY AS WELL CAUSE A LOT OF CHAOS

WOOO A 1999-00 TOPPS KOBE INSERT! IT'S GOT A BAD CORNER AND IS NOT A REFRACTOR SO IT WON'T PAY OFF MY PHONE BILL YET. I AM GLAD I GOT A FEW OF THESE BACK IN THE DAY BECAUSE I SURE CAN'T AFFORD THEM NOW

NEW YORK KNICKS

THESE GUYS SHOULD BE MUCH HIGHER AS THEY HAVEN'T WON A CHAMPIONSHIP SINCE I WAS A BABY. BUT NEW YORK TEAMS ARE ALL SPLIT INTO TWO GROUPS OF ONE SNOOTY ARISTOCRATIC TEAM AND ONE WORKING CLASS SAD SACK TEAM AND THIS IS THE NBA ARISTOCRATS TEAM. I WON'T BE MAD IF THEY WIN, BUT WHEN THEY LOSE I'LL HAVE A GOOD CHUCKLE AT ALL THE MISERABLE "FUCK TRAE YOUNG" CHANTERS OUT THERE

1995-96 SKYBOX WENT INSANE WITH THE FOIL INSERTS AND THIS CARD IS NO EXCEPTION. I GUESS THEY SPENT ALL THAT MONEY ON THE METAL UNIVERSE TECHNOLOGY SO THEY HAD TO USE IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. JOHN STARKS SEEMED TO ME TO BE THE QUINTESSENTIAL KNICKS PLAYOFF PLAYER AS WELL 

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

THE FIRST OF TWO TEAMS THAT DIDN'T TECHNICALLY EXIST IN THE 90S. I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST OKLAHOMA CITY, IT WAS A VERY NICE PLACE WHEN I VISITED. BUT I'M STILL A LITTLE MAD THAT THE SUPERSONICS DIED SO I'M SOMEWHAT CONFLICTED. THEY ARE A VERY GOOD TEAM AND MIGHT ACTUALLY WIN IT ALL SO I BETTER MAKE MY PEACE WITH THE SITUATION QUICK

1995-96 HOOPS WAS SUCH A WEIRD SET. THE BASE CARDS WERE BASIC AS HELL BUT THEN THE INSERTS WERE ALL COMPUTER GENERATED NIGHTMARE VISIONS. I WILL SOON BE SAYING SIMILAR THINGS ABOUT THE 1994-95 VERSION BUT 95-96 REALLY WENT OUT OF CONTROL. POOR DETLEF SCHREMPF IS GETTING HIS SHOT BLOCKED BY HIS OWN JERSEY NUMBER WHILE ORBS HUNT HIM DOWN WITH INTENT TO MURDER

I'M NOT KIDDING, LOOK HOW TERRIFIED DETLEF IS ON THE BACK

DENVER NUGGETS

LIKE WITH THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS IN THE PREVIOUS FOOTBALL PLAYOFF POST, THE NUGGETS WOULD BE MUCH, MUCH HIGHER HAD THEY NOT JUST WON A CHAMPIONSHIP. I LOVE JOKIC BUT THE NBA IS EVEN MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO DECADES-LONG DYNASTIES POPPING UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND I DON'T NEED THAT SHIT UNLESS IT'S MY TEAM THAT IS THE ONE STOMPING EVERYONE ELSE'S GUTS. ONE TITLE IS FINE, BUT TWO IN A ROW MIGHT HAVE SILVER GETTING SOME IDEAS

CLEAR ACETATE VAPORWAVE 1994-95 STADIUM CLUB MUTOMBO INSERT IS BY FAR THE BEST INSERT IN THIS POST SO IF YOU ARE TIRED OF HEARING MY NBA GRIEVANCES (AND NOT EVEN ON FESTIVUS!) I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO  JUST LOOK AT THE PRETTY CARDS AND SCROLL THROUGH THE REST. LIKE YOU WEREN'T DOING THAT ALREADY, LOL

ORLANDO MAGIC

IF IT WEREN'T FOR SHAQ I WOULDN'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THE MAGIC AT ALL. I'M COMPLETELY FED UP WITH FLORIDA TEAMS IN GENERAL AT THE MOMENT SO I WOULDN'T MIND IF THESE GUYS WERE BOUNCED IN THE FIRST ROUND. WHO ARE THEY PLAYING? OH. THE NEXT TEAM ON THE LIST. SIGH

I LOVE BASKETBALL CARDS WITH WOOD COURT DESIGNS. I LOVE CARDS WITH GIGANTIC TEAM LOGO. AND I LOVE SOME SHAQ-FU. THIS CARD GOTS THE TRIFECTA

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

THE CAVALIERS WERE ANOTHER TRAINWRECK DOGSHIT FRANCHISE THAT MADE ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER ABOUT MY OWN FAVORITE TRAINWRECK DOGSHIT FRANCHISE. THEN THEY GOT LEBRON, WON EXACTLY ONE (1) CHAMPIONSHIP AND NOW THEY ARE BACK TO MERELY TRAINWRECK. LEBRON'S GONE, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS TEAM 

YET ANOTHER EMBOSSED INSERT CARD FROM FLEER, THIS TIME 97-98 ULTRA. I DON'T RECALL SEEING A BASKETBALL HOOP USED IN QUITE THIS WAY ON ANOTHER BASKETBALL CARD. ADD THIS TO THOSE 90S CAVS UNIFORMS AND THERE'S ALMOST TOO MUCH ON THIS CARD

PHOENIX SUNS

THE SUNS WERE FUN WHEN THEY HAD CHRIS PAUL AND HOMETOWN HERO DEANDRE AYTON. NOW THEY'RE GONE AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE ROOTING FOR KEVIN DURANT ANYMORE. "A RING FOR BOL BOL" IS NOT ENOUGH TO GET ME TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE SUNS

I'M SHOWING AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF ULTRA INSERTS BECAUSE ULTRA HAD THE BEST INSERTS. THIS 94-95 CARD FEATURES GOLD GLITTER EMBEDDED IN THE COATING THAT MAKES THE NEON EXPLOSION BEHIND SIR CHARLES EVEN MORE AMAZING. THE PHOTO DOESN'T DO IT JUSTICE. FLEER USED THE SAME EFFECT ON THEIR 1995 TEAM LEADERS INSERTS

INDIANA PACERS

I MENTIONED EARLIER THAT OKLAHOMA CITY WAS ONE OF THE NICEST CITIES I'VE VISITED. INDIANAPOLIS WAS THE MOST BORING. GRANTED, I WAS THERE FOR ONE NIGHT 25 YEARS AGO AND THE WHOLE TOWN HAD CLOSED FOR THE EVENING BY THE TIME I GOT THERE BUT THAT'S MY IMPRESSION. MEH 

SOMEONE AT FLEER DISCOVERED THE CUT AND PASTE FUNCTION ON HIS MAC AND JUST WENT WILD

NEW ORLEANS PELICANS

NEW ORLEANS IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE NBA'S TWO WORST TEAM NAMES WITH THE BOBCATS AND PELICANS SO I'M NOT TOO KEEN ON THE FRANCHISE IN GENERAL. THEY'VE GOT SOME GREAT PLAYERS AND IT'S FUN THAT ZION IS ACTUALLY HEALTHY FOR ONCE BUT... UGH. THANKFULLY THIS IS THE LAST TEAM I HAVE ZERO MEANINGFUL OPINION ON, THE REST I GOT GRUDGES

IF YOU THINK THIS CARD IS EXCESSIVELY BUSY, YOU SHOULD SEE THE ONES THAT LOOK JUST LIKE THIS BUT WITH TEXTURED FOIL. THE SHOE TREAD DESIGN IS KINDA COOL THOUGH, YOU DON'T SEE THAT EVERY DAY

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

THEY ALREADY GOT 28 CHAMPIONSHIPS THIS CENTURY THEY DON'T NEED ANY MORE. AND AL HORFORD WOULD HAVE A RING ALREADY IF IT WEREN'T FOR THEM. AND THEY'RE GONNA BEAT THE KINGS AND COST THE HAWKS A DRAFT PICK. BLEARGH. SCREW THE WARRIORS

I REALLY REALLY DO LIKE THESE EARLIER MINIMALISTIC FLEER INSTERS. JUST A BOLD NEON OUTLINE OF A BASKETBALL COURT, VERY PRETTY. WAIT... IS THIS THE COURT THEY CUT AND PASTED FOR THAT REGGIE MILLER CARD?

DALLAS MAVERICKS

LUKA DONCIC IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE IN THE NBA FINALS UNLESS HE IS FACING TRAE YOUNG AND THE HAWKS. SORRY, THEM'S THE RULES. THE HAWKS ARE LOTTERY BOUND THIS YEAR SO SORRY DALLAS, ENJOY YOUR RANGERS TITLE BECAUSE THE MAVS ARE FORBIDDEN TO MAKE IT OUT OF THE FIRST ROUND

95-96 WENT CRAZY WITH THE COMPUTER GRAPHICS BUT 1994-95 HOOPS DID THE SAME WITH THE FOIL. LOOK AT THIS! RAINBOW SUPERFRACTOR DESIGN ETCHED FOIL THAT COVERS HALF THE CARD. THE RAINBOW IS ALL RANDOM DEPENDING ON WHEN IT WAS STAMPED ON THE CARD SO NO TWO CARDS ARE EXACTLY ALIKE EITHER. PLUS THERE'S A SILVER FOIL PARALLEL. AND ALL OF IT HAS SUFFERED FROM THE FOIL ROT THAT PLAGUED A LOT OF SETS FROM THE 90S SO YOU MIGHT SEE SOME CHUNKS RANDOMLY MISSING. THIS SET IS AWESOME, I'D COLLECT IT ALL IF I HAD SEEN EVEN A SINGLE CARD OF IT FOR SALE SINCE I RIPPED THESE HOOPS PACKS THIRTY YEARS AGO

MIAMI HEAT

THE MIAMI HEAT ARE MY #2 FLORIDA PAIN IN THE ASS TEAMS SECOND ONLY TO THE MIAMI MARLINS AND YOU KNOW WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS THEY ARE. NOT ONLY DO THEY HAVE A BUNCH OF CHAMPIONSHIPS AND BEAT UP ON MY POOR HAWKS REGULARLY BUT THEY ALSO RUINED AL HORFORD'S CHANCE TO GET A RING LAST YEAR. OOOOH HOW I HATES THEM. THEY ADMITTEDLY HAVE NEVER THROWN A BEANBALL AT RONALD ACUÑA JR. AT LEAST

HA HA, REMEMBER WHEN THIS GUY WAS KNOWN AS BABY JORDAN? SPEAKING OF JORDAN

CHICAGO BULLS

I NORMALLY DON'T MIND THE BULLS NOW THAT THEY SUCK, BUT THE HAWKS GOTTA BEAT THEM TO KEEP UP THEIR PERFECT PLAY-IN GAME RECORD SO THEY CAN GO JUMP IN LAKE MICHIGAN. I FEEL A LITTLE BAD BECAUSE BULLS FANS ONLINE SEEM TO BE SUFFERING IN DESPAIR TO AN ALMOST WORRYING EXTENT, EVEN WORSE THAN THE PANICKY HAWKS CROWD CURRENTLY MELTING DOWN BECAUSE VIT KREJCI WAS LEFT OFF THE PLAYOFF ROSTER. I GUESS THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR TEAM WAS THE BEST OF ALL TIME THIRTY YEARS AGO AND HAVEN'T DONE SQUAT SINCE. DON'T CARE, I AM NOT INTERSTED IN RANDOMIZING TANKATHON A THOUSAND TIMES SEEING IF I CAN GET THE HAWKS THE #1 PICK IN THE LOTTERY, THEY GOTTA GO DOWN

SEEING ALL THE JORDAN INSERTS IN MY BASKETBALL BOX RILED UP ALL MY ANCIENT GRUDGES BUT I LIKED THIS ONE BECAUSE THE ODD SHADOWS MAKE IT LOOK LIKE MICHAEL HAS GOOGLY EYES

PREDICTION TIME! CELTICS OVER WOLVES WOULD MAKE ME VERY HAPPY. BUT IT'S A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION YEAR SO I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY EVER AGAIN. A PLAY-IN TEAM IS NOT GETTING TO THE FINALS TWO YEARS IN A ROW SO IT'S GOTTA BE

MAVERICKS OVER PACERS IN SIX

ENJOY THE HOOPIES KIDDOS! OR AT LEAST THE ONE GUY WHO READS THIS BLOG WHO ACTUALLY ENJOYS BASKETBALL. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE LEFT READING THIS SO THANKS FOR THAT! 

FIRST TOPPS PACK OF 2024

 

I KNOW ALL YOU SICKOS ARE GEEKED UP ABOUT HERITAGE RIGHT NOW BUT I'M SLOW AND JUST GOT MY FIRST PACK OF 2024 TOPPS. YAY! I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THIS IN PERSON FOR A WHILE NOW AND I GET TO SEE WHAT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT WITH THE NEON BORDER HIGLIGHTS WITH MY OWN EYES NOW. THE PACKAGING  IS A LITTLE WEIRD THIS YEAR THOUGH

ULTRA OUT, LEAF IN. BUT THIS IS TOPPS?? ALSO THE PACK COST EIGHT DOLLARS, NOT THREE. I DON'T MIND THOUGH, A FAT PACK IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE 34 CARDS IN IT AND I GOT 39 IN MY PACK. I DIDN'T SEE RONALD ACUÑA ON THE FRONT OF THE PACK BUT MAYBE IT'S UNDER THE BASEBALLCARDSTORE DOT CA SHIPPING LABEL?

I WILL SAY THE CARDS WERE VERY WELL PROTECTED, THAT'S A LOT OF CARDS TO PROTECT MY SHINY NEW 2024 TOPPS. I DIDN'T REALIZE FANATICS HAD BULKED UP THEIR PACKAGING THAT MUCH. LET'S CHECK OUT THAT NEW TOPPS!!!

FIRST TOPPS CARD OF THE YEAR IS THE FIRST CARD IN THE SET. YEAAAAAH RONALD! IT'S DIFFICULT TO PHOTOGRAPH IT BUT THE NEON BORDER REALLY DOES HAVE A COOL METALLIC SHEEN TO IT THAT POPS IN PERSON. HERE'S A TERRIBLE PICTURE OF IT

PLEAS IGNORE THE GROSS OLD PLASTIC CASE AND MY GROSS OLD DESK AND MY GROSS OLD HAND AND THE SPOILER OF THE NEXT CARD AND CHECK OUT THAT GLOWY SHINY BIT. I DON'T THINK TOPPS HAS USED A GIMMICK LIKE THIS IN THEIR BASE SET SINCE 1997'S SPOT GLOSS. SHIT LOOKS GREAT, YO. IT'S NOT OFTEN YOUR FIRST CARD OF THE YEAR OUT OF THE PACK IS YOUR FAVORITE PLAYER. UNLESS YOU JUST, LIKE, BOUGHT THE CARD, RIGHT

OH MY GOD, ACUÑA INSERT THE VERY NEXT CARD! WHAT ARE THE ODDS? I TRIED TO CHECK THE ODDS ON TOPPS' WEBSITE BUT THERE ARE 22 PAGES OF NONSENSE AND AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. EVEN BASEBALLCARDPEDIA SHOWS A GIGANTIC SPREADSHEET BUT I THINK THESE DROP 1:16 PACKS. THIS IS ANOTHER GREAT LOOKING DESIGN, ALL THAT REDDISH-BLACK LOOKING STUFF IN THE BACKGROUND IS FOILBOARD AND THE WHITE SCREEN BEHIND RONALD AGAIN MAKES EVERYTHING POP. WELL WELL DONE FROM THE FANATICS DESIGNERS SO FAR

HERE'S THE ONE PER HANGER YELLOW PARALLEL AND IT'S A LEADER CARD WITH SPENCER STRIDER ON IT. WAIT, I THOUGHT I GOT A FAT PACK?! NOT A BIG FAN OF NEEDLESS PARALLELS BUT AT LEAST IT'S GOT A BRAVE ON IT. THE BRIGHT BORDERS KIND OF RUINS THE EFFECT THOUGH, NEON SIGNS ARE WAY MORE EFFECTIVE IN A DARK SMOKY BAR THAN IN A BRIGHT SUNNY ICE CREAM SHOP

MIGGY! THE HORIZONTAL CARDS LOOK AS GOOD AS THE VERTICAL AND IT'S NOT AS DISCONCERTING SEEING THE CARDS ALTERNATE FROM BACK AND WHITE WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE TOP OF A STACK OF THEM AS I THOUGHT. MIGUEL CABRERA'S THE 21ST CENTURY FRANK ROBINSON RIGHT? INSANELY GOOD PLAYER THAT EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY FORGOT ABOUT WHO WILL BE APPRECIATED 30 YEARS FROM NOW WHEN PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T SEE HIM PLAY LOOK AT HIS STATS AND GO WHAT??!?

JOEY VOTTO! NOTHING BUT BRAVES AND HALL OF FAMERS IN THIS PACK, HOW LUCKY IS THAT. I NEED VOTTO TO HIT A WALK OFF DINGER FOR THE JAYS AND TO GET A CARD WITH HIS NEW TEAM IN 2024 UPDATE

SIX MORE BRAVES! WOW IT'S ALMOST LIKE THIS PACK WAS HAND PICKED BY ME

CHARLIE MORTON WITH THE CITY CONNECT UNIFORM. THANK GOODNESS THE BRAVES WENT WITH A 70'S REMIX DESIGN INSTEAD OF A MORE, UH, EXPERIMENTAL TAKE LIKE WITH SOME OTHER TEAMS

HERE'S THE FIRST RAINBOW FOIL OF TIGERS PITCHING PROSPECT MATT MANNING. IS HE STILL A PROSPECT? IT'S HIS FOURTH SEASON IN THE TIGERS' ROTATION. I'VE SEEN SO MANY ROOKIE CARDS OF HIS IN THAT CHRONICLES SET I'M OBSESSED WITH THAT I'LL PROBABLY THINK HE'S A PROSPECT FOR YEARS 

MOAR BRAVES. THUMBS UP FOR SEAN MURPHY, THUMBS DOWN FOR OBLIQUE INJURIES

MOARER BARVES. FIFTY THREE DONGERS FOR MATTY LAST YEAR. FREDDIE WHO? DON'T LOOK AT CAREER WAR AND PERIPHERALS PLZ. I NOW HAVE THE FIRST CARD FROM 2024 TOPPS SERIES ONE AND THE LAST CARD FROM 2024 TOPPS SERIES ONE SO THAT MEANS I'M DONE WITH THE SET, RIGHT? HERE'S MORE CARDS ANYWAY

WILD BILL BREWER. THIS IS TECHNICALLY NOT A BRAVES CARD BUT IS DEFINITELY BRAVES-ADJACENT

NOT A BRAVE, NOT A HALL OF FAMER. WHA HOPPEN? THIS CARD LOOKS COOL AS HELL THOUGH, THAT'S A GREAT PICTURE. WHY THE TOPPS LOGO DOWN THERE THO

OOH, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. I APPRECIATE THE STARS OF MLB INSERT SET FOR BEING A DECENT LOOKING EASY TO FIND INSERT SET BUT THIS YEAR'S EDITION LOOKS FABULOUS. I STILL DON'T SEE A STAR-THEMED DESIGN BUT THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING HYPERSPACE THROUGH WHAT'S LEFT OF ALDERAAN SO IT IS SPACEY ENOUGH FOR ME. BOBBY WAS MY FIRST PICK FOR A FANTASY LEAGUE TEAM THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED THE LINEUP IN A WEEK BECAUSE HALF MY TEAM IS ON THE IL SO EVERYONE WHO CAN START IS

BRAAAAAAAAVES. SPENCER DIDN'T GET TOMMY JOHN WHICH IS GOOD BUT HE AIN'T PITCHING AGAIN THIS YEAR WHICH SUCKS. I DON'T NEED THIS SO SOON AFTER MIKE SOROKA. SIGN SOME KNUCKLEBALLERS ALREADY

ANOTHER INSERT! USUALLY THESE THINGS ARE ALL GROUPED UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK,HOW STRANGE. JULIO'S THE MAIN MAN ON MY OTHER FANTASY TEAM, WHICH I HAVE ALSO BEEN NEGLECTING. MAX MEYER BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF MY BRAVES AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET FANTASY POINTS *SOB* THIS IS ANOTHER 1:16 PACKS INSERT

SOME YANKEE. IS THIS GUY GOOD? 

WOOOOOO! MY SECOND FAVORITE BRAVE AFTER RONALD. ALONG WITH OZZIE, RILEY, OLSON AND JESSE CHAVEZ. JESSE BETTER GET A CARD THIS YEAR OR I RIOT

OH HEY, ANOTHER 1:16 PACKS INSERT, HOW UNLIKELY. I AM NOT FAMILIAR WITH CHRISTOPHER MOREL'S GAME BUT I DO SPY A BRAVES ALUMNI ON THERE

THIS YEAR'S RETRO SET FEATURES 1989 TOPPS. DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY COLLECT THESE THINGS? I KNOW PEOPLE ACCUMULATE THEM SINCE THEY ARE 1:4 PACKS BUT AT 100 CARDS PER SERIES DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY GO OUT AND TRACK DOWN ALL THREE HUNDRED EVERY YEAR? I WILL SAY THAT WHILE THERE'S A LOT OF SIDE EYE BEING GIVEN TO THE FONT CHOICES ON TEAM NAMES IN A CERTAIN OTHER SET THAT RECENTLY CAME OUT, THIS GUARDIANS LOOKS REALLY GOOD. BUT CLEVELAND WAS ALWAYS CALLED THE GUARDIANS, RIGHT? 

DO PEOPLE STILL LIKE VLAD. JR? I SEE SOME GRUMBLING ABOUT HIM FROM BLUE JAYS FANS BUT YOU'RE ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR OWN TEAM. I GUESS THE HOBBY DOESN'T LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE'S NOT TROUT, UH, I MEAN OHTANI, UM.. WHO IS THE NEW COLLECTING HOTNESS NOW ANYWAY? 

MOAR HYPERSPACE STARS. TWO OLD DUDES AND TWO ROOKIES. I... WOULDN'T MIND COLLECTING THIS SET. IT'S SHINY. I'LL BE OVER THIS BY THE TIME SERIES TWO COMES OUT AND I HAVE 7 CARDS OUT OF 60

OOOH THIS IS A NOTHER REALLY GOOD LOOKING PICTURE OF UNEXPECTED ALL-STAR ORLANDO. I SEE THE TOPPS LOGO IS WANDERING ABOUT AGAIN

YET ANOTHER 1:16 PER PACK INSERT, I DON'T LIKE PETE ALONSO EVEN A LITTLE BIT BUT I WANTED TO PICK UP ONE OF THESE BLUEPRINT INSERTS I MEAN OH WOW HOW LUCKY I RANDOMLY PULLED THIS ONE OUT OF A PACK STOP BREAKING KAYFABE DANGIT. I REMEMBER THIS DESIGN GETTING MOCKED A HUNDRED YEARS AGO DURING THE RELEASE HYPE BUT IT'S A PRETTY INTERESTING INSERT IN MY OPINION. AS SOMEONE WHO TOOK DRAFTING CLASSES IN HIGH SCHOOL THOUGH, I DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN POINTS OFF FOR WRITING PETE'S NAME LIKE THAT

OH LOOK ANOTHER ANOTHER 1:16 INSERT SEEN FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A SINGLE VERY REAL FAT PACK WHAT I BOUGHT FROM A STORE AND OPENED UP MYSELF. HOW LUCKY! IT'S GOING TO TAKE A SEASON OR TWO TO REMEMBER THAT THE ORIOLES ARE GOOD NOW WHICH IS OK BECAUSE IT TOOK A LITTLE WHILE TO REALIZE THEY SUCKED INTHE FIRST PLACE

HOW IN THE WORLD DID A HOBBY ONLY SILVER CARD PACK END UP IN A RETAIL FAT PACK?? MAN, THERE'S SOME WILD STUFF GOING ON WITH FANATICS QUALITY CONTROL NOWADAYS, NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING. I LIKE THE CARD BUT I STILL FEEL WEIRD ABOUT KRIS BRYANT GOING FROM THE SAVIOR OF CHICAGO TO THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM IN DENVER

BRYCE ELDER WAS AN ALL-STAR LAST YEAR AND IS IN THE MINORS THIS YEAR BUT DON'T FEEL BAD FOR HIM, HE'LL BE UP IN THE BIGS SOON ENOUGH. EVERY TEAM NEEDS AN EIGHT MAN ROTATION NOW AND I'M GLAD WE GOT BRYCE AS OUR SEVENTH STARTER. THAT'S SOME REAL ROTATION DEPTH

TWO MORE HOLOSHINIES. I HAVE GRIPED ABOUT THESE CARDS FOR YEARS NOW AS YET ANOTHER MEANINGLESS PARALLELS BUT I GRUDGINGLY ADMIT THESE LOOK DAMN GOOD. YOU'D THINK THE NEON FOIL AND THE HOLO FOIL WOULD JUST CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT BUT THEY ARE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT FLAVORS OF SHINY AND WORK WELL TOGETHER

I THINK WE CAN OFFICIALLY CALL THIS A BRAVES HOT PACK

OH COOL, A GOOD '89 INSERT! SO WHICH IS BETTER, THIS OR THE ORIGINAL '89 TOPPS BUNTING ROBIN CARD? I THINK BUNTING WINS JUST FOR THE TEXT ON THE NAME BUT THIS NEWFANGLED ONE DOES LOOK NICE

LEADERS CARDS! WE GET THE GOOD VERSION OF THE STRIDER 20 WINS CARD AND MATT OLSON'S STOOPID AMOUNT OF RBIS. IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT FEEL LIKE 'LEAGUE SHOULD BE JUST A SMIDGE OVER TO THE LEFT ON HERE. THERE'S MORE NEON PIPING ON THESE SO IT'S A LITTLE EXTRA SHINY AS IS APPROPRIATE FOR THE BEST IN THE LEAGUE. ALSO WITH OZZIE'S NAVY JERSEY I THINK WE'VE SEEN EVERY UNIFORM THE BRAVES USED IN 2023 ALTHOUGH I MAY BE FORGETTING AN ODDBALL ALTERNATIVE UNI

FREDERICK! IS THE LAST BASE CARD OF THE PACK. SO DOES HIS HALL PLAQUE HAVE A BRAVES OR DODGERS CAP

THIS MIGHT BE THE PULL OF THE PACK, I LIKE THE LOOK OF THIS DESIGN EVEN THOUGH IT WAS NOT TERRIBLY POPULAR ON THE TWEETER. TED WILLIAMS IS MAYBE THE PERFECT SUBJECT FOR THIS SET, HE LOOKS SO HAPPY TO BE SURROUNDED BY BATS. THIS IS THE 6TH 1:16 PACKS INSERT I'VE PULLED TODAY, HOW FORTUNATE

I STLL HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PLAY THIS HOME RUN CHALLENGE THING AND I HAVE NO INTEREST IN SCRATCHING UP THE BACK OF THE CARD JUST SO TOPPS CAN SAY TO ME "YOU LOSE". THIS WILL LIKELY BE THE THIRD OR FOURTH ONE OF THESE WHERE I'LL LET THE CODE EXPIRE. IT'S A PRETTY CARD THOUGH!

WE'VE REACHED THE END WITH A REALLY PRETTY BLUE SHIMMERY FOIL CARD OF JI HWAN BAE. I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE ODDS ARE ON THESE BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT PARALLEL THIS IS. IT SURELY CAN'T JUST BE 'BLUE HOLOFOIL' RIGHT? THEY HAVE TO CALL THAT SPARKLY TEXTURE SOMETHING ODD LIKE CERULEAN CONFETTI. ANYWAY, IT'S SHINY AND NICE LOOKING

I ALMOST FORGOT TO SHOW OFF THE BACKS. VERY MINIMALISTIC CONSIDERING THE WILD DESIGN ON THE FRONT, BUT IT WORKS. REALLY, IF I CAN READ THE CARD NUMBER WITH MY RAPIDLY DEFLATING EYES, IT'S A GOOD BACK DESIGN AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED

THAT WAS A VERY SUCCESSFUL, UH, PACK! LOTS OF BRAVES (MISSING ONLY FOUR FOR THE TEAMS SET NOW), A SUSPICIOUSLY ABSURD AMOUNT OF INSERTS AND AN EVEN MORE UNLIKELY COLLECTION OF PARALLELS, INCLUDING A COUPLE THAT SHOULD NEVER SHOW UP IN A FAT PACK. NOW IT'S TIME TO TAKE PICS OF ALL THOSE OTHER 'PROTECTION' CARDS IN THE PACK SO I CAN START POSTING THEM IN MY 2024 ONLINE BLASTER POSTS. RIPPING PACKS IS FUN!